By Joan Courtney, C. Ht

Unstuck Living

Heart Day is on the way. As if you could miss it. You walk into a store, and hearts and flowers are right in front of you. You start to think of your sweetheart and realize you want to do something special. But what? You’ve been together a long time. Your routine is comfortable in oh-so-many ways. You want to spice things up, but how?

Fix Him

A while back, I heard this story while practicing NLP in Coeur d’Alene, Idaho. (These clients gave their permission to share their dilemma.) A lady had been married to her husband for many years. She was bored. Tired of doing the same things they had always done. “I’ve been married for 50 years. And I want a change. I’m considering divorce. I’m going to send my husband in so you can fix him.” 

A while later, this very nice fellow came into the office. I asked how things were going. He was puzzled. “Darned if I know. I have been a good provider and a great father. I have been close with my family, and we do great things together. Now, she’s tired of me and what we do.”

What did you do when…?

I thought for a moment and asked what he did when he courted her. Suddenly, his face morphed into a young nineteen-year-old man. He described taking his guitar and a buddy, and serenading her as she stood on the second floor of her apartment building. After singing, he would toss a rose to her. “Do you still have the guitar?” Oh, yes.

After three months, she had another session. “You fixed him! He’s courting me. This time, it’s many more roses.” Five months later? He came in, and said, “You’ll never believe the weekend I just had.” His wife had picked him up after work. Blindfolded him and told him she was going to kidnap him for the weekend. She then started a cassette tape (yes, it was a long time ago,) and played the songs they loved when they were first together. The kids also shared the many memories they had from those bygone days as a family — camping, kayaking, board games, Baseball and Picnics. They were both in tears, flooded by those wonderful memories. They both felt treasured, seen, and heard. Last I knew, they were still happily married.

Wander back in time

Think back to what you and your sweetie did when you were first together. Here are some ideas to get started.

• Recreate that first meal together. Maybe it was a three-course extravaganza. Perhaps it was hot dogs. The taste will bring back those precious memories.

• Make a playlist of the songs you both enjoy. Take the scenic route and enjoy your conversation, companionship, and the serenades. Evening light is special. 

• Tell a back story about a gift. A friend gifted me with a lovely cameo, made even more special with the story of the woman who had gifted it to her many years before.  

• Go camping. One couple used to camp a lot when first together. Now, they have little time to travel, and it turned out the backyard worked just fine.

• Tickets to a concert. Your love is a Journey. 

Get tickets and surprise them with the evening. 

Get unstuck and have a great (and memorable) Valentine’s Day!

Joan Courtney is a clinical hypnotherapist and NLP practitioner. Writing for Outdoors Southwest and other publications on the Mountain, She also ghostwrites bi-weekly posts for MacDuff, the Canine Executive Officer of Unstuck Living.